An honest perspective on Indian marriage culture in ‘Indian Matchmaking’

To say that Indians are obsessed with the idea of marriage is an understatement. Globally, the Indian marriage enterprise is a multi-billion dollar force comprising dating sites, dating coaches, wedding vendors, event planners and a whole slew of other businesses and people. It is a duty that has been passed down for hundreds of years through many generations. Yet, Indian men and women are for many reasons getting married later and later. They are also finding it increasingly challenging to connect with someone that they feel genuinely compatible with. Two of the biggest reasons for delayed marriage have long been debated and researched: education and the availability of increased choice. Every parent wants their child to be successful, accomplished and well-settled. This is especially true of the Indian-American community, which emphasizes educational accomplishment as a path to success.

People Look Down on Arranged Marriages, But Here’s Why It Worked for This Couple

Now available to stream, the series follows Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia as she painstakingly works with singles and their families in India and America to find desirable mates for marriage. One client, New Jersey-based event planner Nadia, wonders if her Indian-ness will come into question because of her Guyanese heritage.

With the global reach of Netflix, Mundhra saw an opportunity to present a look at dating and relationships through the very specific lens of the South Asian experience that would reach a wide audience.

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A bride during a traditional Hindu wedding ceremony in Punjab, India. An Indian Hindu wedding ceremony in progress. Hindu marriage harmonizes two individuals for ultimate eternity, so that they can pursue dharma Truth , arth meaning , and kama physical desires. It is a union of two individuals as spouses, and is recognized by liveable continuity.

In Hinduism, marriage is followed by traditional rituals for consummation. In fact, marriage is not considered complete or valid until consummation. It also joins two families together. Favorable colours are normally red and gold for this occasion. Parents also take advice from the brahman called ‘Jothidar’ in Tamil or ‘panthulu or siddanthi ‘ in Telugu and Kundali Milaan in northern India, who has details of many people looking to get married.

Some communities, like the Brahmans in Mithila, use genealogical records “Panjikas” maintained by the specialists. Jatakam or Kundali is drawn based on the placement of the stars and planets at the time of birth. The maximum points for any match can be 36 and the minimum points for matching is Any match with points under 18 is not considered as an auspicious match for a harmonious relationship but still it depends liberally on people they can still marry.

Hindu by Birth. Hind-Jew by Marriage.

By Anika Jain on August 19, While the two lovers have the opportunity to go on actual dates and have some liberties when it comes to deciding their spouse, Sima Aunty is more or less setting up arranged marriages — an ancient tradition in many Asian countries, especially in India. In addition to these superficial preferences, families are very clear about their desire to match their children with a spouse from a high caste — despite the abolishment of the Indian caste system in Rather, it is unapologetically Indian, from the glamorization of fair skin to the marital pressure from families.

Notwithstanding the intense colorism and classism, the stakes for these singles is much higher than any other reality TV show. Now, this is not to say that arranged marriages are entirely forced and restrictive.

My friend Anusha* is a British Indian, from a practicing Hindu it’s like to date within a culture that accepts family matchmaking as the norm.

Outside India, everyone is getting used to it. Visionaries laud it as the making of a multi-ethnic, golden race that will bring peace to the planet. Some of your closest friends have done it and everybody gossips about it-mixed marriages. By all estimates, it will only increase. Slowly, awkwardly, Hindu society is facing it and finding it’s a lot healthier to talk about it and positively adjust to it when it happens, rather than hide it, fight it or ignore it.

This begins our three-part series.

Girls, take note: This is what Indian men look for in their date

Although India has experienced changes in its traditions in part due to Western influences, the culture has held steadfast to many of its traditions and customs. What applies to one region of India may not apply to another region. This is because India has about 29 states, each with a different language, customs etc.

Indian Matchmaking joins other recent reality dating series such as Love normalization of Hindu upper-caste culture as larger Indian culture.

Rather than dating, many people in India — and some University of Minnesota students such as Gupta — hope to find their spouses through parents in arranged marriages. But for others, the topic can be a source of conflict between their parents’ traditional ideas and their own more Westernized ideals of love and marriage. In India, typically when a man or woman is ready to get married, his or her parents use matrimonial ads — similar to newspaper personal ads — or network through friends and family to find possible candidates to marry their children.

He said the woman’s parents will seek out a man for their daughter to marry, but sometimes the men’s parents send their information to the women. Sometimes after the parents select potential candidates based on the written information, the parents will meet them before recommending potential suitors to their children. Gupta has already met seven girls but none he wanted to marry. He said he spent about one hour with each of the girls. Gupta said he is not opposed to finding a spouse in a different way, and if he met someone he wanted to marry, his parents would probably accept his decision.

How to Date an Indian (Advice for the Non-Indian)

A week after my mother’s wedding, my mother and her strange, new husband headed to the Madras airport to pick up a visa. They were moving to America together; my mother had met him only once, ten days before the wedding. When he went to ask someone for directions—taking their luggage and all of my mother’s money with him—my mother stood petrified and unmoving, afraid that this man she didn’t know had abandoned and robbed her.

That man was my father, and they have been married for 34 years. I’ve been hearing this story my whole life: They laugh about it now.

Learn about the cultural traditions involved in dating in India or in other parts of the world, as well as Indian dating sites you might enjoy.

When I was 18 years old I used to believe there is no way one could ever date successfully a person from a different culture. Now the reality is as the world is becoming increasingly borderless intercultural, inter-racial couples are on the way of becoming the norm and that is in my opinion a great thing. I think we should never segregate ourselves based on race, religion, nationality, culture nor any media, family or peer influenced limitations other than choosing the person that genuinely makes us happy.

Is interesting however to see how our own cultures impact the way we perceive love and dating particularly. And while dating someone raised in a completely different culture can be the most enriching experience it comes with many challenges as you go deeper into the relationship and realize how the person has such a different perspective of life, of certain habits, view of relationships, values of family, traditions, manners, food and the list goes on. That is why I always jokingly say, nobody cares to meet an international etiquette consultant until the day they have to meet the parents of their loved one.

So here is a few small tips to help you through the first dates if you find yourself dating in any of the below 10 countries. This article is not meant to define and generalize all individuals within a country simply note a few interesting cultural differences In dating habits across the world. American dating culture is of course very diverse based on which part of USA you live in and while certain parts tend to be more conservative in general American dating culture tends to be a lot more casual.

Most Americans meet in bars, clubs, dating apps and is not necessarily with the intent to get serious asap but more for fun. Is perfectly normal for women to initiate the dates, they are very open minded and marriage is not always the end goal of dating even if the word love is quite often used very early, from within the first dates. Moving in with someone without the prospect of marriage is very common and accepted in American culture.

Dating Indian Men: The Good, Bad, and Ugly

I dated my husband for almost seven years before our wedding. The evening started benignly enough — we were trying to decide if we were going to host his family for Passover that year, our first as a married couple. But in the midst of planning, our conversation escalated when I pointed out I knew more about his culture and religion than he did. The groom as Moses, as the bride prepares the perfect brisket. I made it a point to learn about Judaism.

I studied the diasporic journey of his relatives from Hungary and Russia to Princeton, N.

Indian culture is rich in tradition, with family life highly valued. If you’re not Indian and your date is, celebratory social occasions and family events.

Join over organisations already creating a better workplace. You can download this cultural profile in an easy-to-read PDF format that can be printed out and accessed at any time. The figure of the total population of each country is drawn from the global estimates listed in the CIA World Factbook , unless otherwise stated. All other statistical information on the demographics of the migrant population in Australia is based on the Australian Housing and Population Census.

Fijian Culture. Core Concepts. Life revolves around the family for most Fijians. Life is shared intimately between family members and the interests of the family are supposed to supersede those of the individual. Fijian households are usually headed by a senior couple. The man is the primary breadwinner of the family unit and the woman generally supervises all other females in the house and disciplines the children.

It is common for households to be multigenerational as elders rarely live independently in Fiji.

Roots of Hinduism

A decade ago, at the age of 22, American writer Elizabeth Flock moved to Mumbai with a vague idea of working in Bollywood. She ended up at the business magazine Forbes instead. Flock went back to the US after two years, but she remained fascinated by Indian relationships.

Just marry?” and “Against our ancient culture”, and of course, the inevitable “​From Sita to Draupadi, the woman is the source of all problems, even.

Caste hatred in India – what it looks like. What is India’s caste system? Most Indian families still prefer marriages arranged within their religion and caste. Marriages outside these rigid boundaries have often led to violent consequences, including “honour” killings. But some young Indians are still willing to defy their families and communities for love, reports the BBC’s Divya Arya. Ravindra Parmar knew that pursuing a relationship with an upper-caste woman would be dangerous.

He is a Dalit formerly known as “untouchable” , a caste that sits at the lowest rung of India’s social ladder. The woman he fell in love with, Shilpaba Upendrasinh Vala, is a Rajput – a Hindu warrior caste near the apex of the system. The yawning gap between his position and hers is something rarely bridged in Indian society. Listen to the radio version of this story here.

Marriage in Hinduism

Y usuf Khan has a four-sentence formula for finding love. Khan is 24 — high time, according to his parents, he started looking for a wife. If he cannot fit women into his busy work schedule, they say, they can always start asking around friends and family for a suitable match. Khan does not tell his parents, but he goes on at least one new Tinder date every month. Despite pressure from the family, he is in no rush to marry.

Hence, the rules governing the conduct of individuals in Hinduism are also very of Hinduism, which is not found in any other culture or tradition outside India. should not see each other until their fixed marriage, dating was unheard of.

Just marry? There will also be quite a few declaring that the problem is not the Indian Men, it is the Indian Woman, leading the poor lamb on and abandoning him at the altar of parental approval. We are going to mostly leave the women alone, ignore societal norms as far as possible and just focus on the good, bad and ugly aspects of dating Indian men.

In the interest of leaving the page with a warm, fuzzy feeling after an enlightening read, let us just get the ugly out of the way first! What are Indian men like when it comes to dating? Not a Fan? Well, uncomfortable he pitifully demands to know why girls always travel in packs. This is doubly true for Indian men, they have not quite evolved from the pack foraging stage of Gorillas.

In fact, given the unshaven look preferred since Premam , you could be forgiven for thinking Gorillas have moved into Indian cities! They move around in groups — A gang is most apt , considering their collective behaviour. They even cross the street as a gang! Be assured every gesture, every word, every smile, every look of yours will be dissected, none too gently, once you are out of the picture.

Every attempt to continue the conversation post-date will be a competition for attention between the wolf-pack and you. You might even correctly surmise, the wolf pack is guiding the conversation at his end post date!

The Evolution of Indian Arranged Marriages

Your spouse is just a set of qualifications to finally one-up your neighbours or your rival at work. Stagnant social mobility, casteist educational institutions and economic inequality glom together to create families, neighbourhoods, schools, colleges and work places where everyone has similar incomes and wealth, lifestyles, intellectual interests and ambitions. In other words, the metrics of compatibility all conspire towards upholding oppressive structures.

Practicing hyper-individuality to stand out on dating apps is disenchanting, having your personhood disregarded completely is no better. Marital rape is still legal in India.

In a free-choice marriage, in contrast, high expectations often develop during an elaborate dating period, with the culture placing great weight on the romantic.

Jump to navigation. Of course, here at EliteSingles, we understand your desire to find a special person with whom you can celebrate your Hindu values. Not only does EliteSingles filter your match results to find compatibility, but we also aim to meet your other needs and desires. EliteSingles can line you up with like-minded Hindu singles today. EliteSingles is different than to your typical “swipe left or right” dating app. Many of the dating websites and apps out there can feel like a waste of time because too many of the users are simply not interested in committing to a serious, long-term relationship.

If you’re tired of wading through the fake, hookup culture of dating apps, EliteSingles is the right choice for you. We cater to professional singles aged who are serious about finding love. With our website and app, you can cut to the chase and be introduced to professional, Hindu singles who are looking for love. EliteSingles is a premium option when it comes to Hindu dating.

This detailed test acts like your personal matchmaker, comparing your results with other singles and seeking out singles that espouse the values and interests that are most important to you. Some people might be intimidated by setting up a profile about themselves. We can help with that!

Dating Dont’s for Indian Men


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